Baby Girl--30 Years Later
11/29/2008 - Sue Ann Crockett
Thirty years ago tomorrow morning—around 4:00am.. the contractions came hard and fast. So fast, in fact, I couldn’t get up off of the bathroom floor.
My frantic husband called 911. Had I been more of an ‘earth mother’.. so popular in the 70s.. I would have had the baby right there on the floor. But I wanted my second experience to be much like the first—in the hospital, with a doctor I adored.
We made it.. just barely. She was born soon after we got there. There are pictures of me, her perplexed older brother in a hospital gown holding his new sister, and another even more quizzical picture of me: “A girl? What do I do with a girl?”
I hadn’t really planned on a daughter—probably because I already had a boy and figured that’s just what would come next. But here she was. And as her physical birth indicated, she was born ready to take on the world—strictly within her terms, of course.
As a toddler and a little girl, she allowed me to play with her long, curly, honey-colored hair. Pigtails (piggies, as I called them), ponytails, barrettes and bows were my preference.. but I secretly had the feeling they were never hers.
She was passionate about EVERYthing. Rainbows, music, Christmas, even the three younger brothers that followed her.
When she left home at 16, my heart split open. I didn’t think it would ever heal. It was too soon. She was my only girl. Where was she?
But an interesting thing has happened. Her life experiences have brought her full circle back into my life in ways I never would have expected.
On Thanksgiving, we met at her home. She hurried around her kitchen and I helped out where she wanted. We sat down to a perfectly traditional meal. Hmmm.. traditional—a word I never would have associated with her in any way. But there we were and I loved watching her. The way she proudly presented her delicious cheesecake, the way she put a huge meal together for the first time, the way she happily cleaned up her kitchen (and enlisted the help of her younger brother), and the feeling of satisfaction I saw on her face.
She is a mother, a musician, an artist, a tattooed beauty, a free spirit, an eclectic mix of old and new, a unique treasure.
Sometimes, she still wears her hair in piggies.. and she smiles, and indulges me as those waves of nostalgia take over my heart.
My only daughter.. my 30-year-old little girl has become a woman I admire and learn from over and over again.
|3 Comments From Other Members
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||Michele Moore from New Port Richey FL wrote:
My heart knows what your heart feels. Almost everyday now, I miss my little ones, while I appreciate the adults they have become...there are moments when I ache to hold them close to my heart just once more and sing them to sleep. Someday they will know the same emotions we now feel.
||Susan Terbay from Dayton OH wrote:
I'm so right there with you both - I love being a mom and I especially love being a mom of little ones. Like you I enjoy their adulthood but I long for the days of snuggling and fun times - being silly, the disciplinarian and the craziness of loving and yelling at the same time- when I was mom - now I feel at times I just hold the title 'mom.' Lovely blog Sue Ann
||Anne Mudd from Wheat Ridge CO wrote:
I find you more familiar in my life, everyday Sue Ann. Such a beautiful aspiration in your life and more than you expected. Or is it not having expectations that provide all of this? I think it is. Beautiful write, Sue Ann. I enjoyed this.
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