I grew up in a town along the Columbia River on the border between Oregon and Washington. The wind blew hard there.. and the frequent 80 mile trips between my little town and Portland were directly alongside that huge, deep river.. where it seemed particularly windy.

My parents drove a Volkswagen bug.. and boy, did it pitch and sway in the wind.  I expected our little car to plunge into the river at any moment.. and as a result became very fearful when we went anywhere in the wind--but especially along the river.

One night I was ready to go to sleep, at home in my room. But it was a blustery night, and there was a telephone pole barely staying in the ground outside my bedroom window. I worried. I fretted. I was afraid of something. I thought it was the wind, but in hindsight, it wasn't that as much as the unknown.  What would happen if.....?

That night my dad came in my room and we talked. I remember the worry and how frightened I was that "something" would happen.  Then, he said.. in his kindly way.. "Honey, you can't live your life in fear."

I've remembered that phrase for close to 50 years.. the way he said it.. the tone in his voice. I think maybe there's a reason that experience jumps to mind so often.

I've been thinking a lot lately about how we decide to be happy. We make the choice whether we'll spend our days in hope or despair.  I believe there's truth to this.. and that while circumstances come and go that rattle us good.. we can still choose.

I keep wondering: Am I living proof that one can live her life in fear?  I will admit, I don't think of myself as brave or courageous.. although I've done hard things.

But at the beginning of a new stage in my life.. which this is.. I don't want to worry anymore.  And these days it's not about the wind.. it's about money, future, health, family..  you know.  The things we're all concerned about. But I know that paralyzing fear keeps me from living life to the fullest.  I know this for sure.

My father's voice comes back to me now. I think it's trying to tell me it may be time.. at last. And that deciding to no longer live in fear is really just that simple.

You must be a logged in to comment on this blog.

Username
Password
	Forgot Login
Become A Member FREE today!