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Faith vs. Fear
4/20/2010 - Sue Ann Crockett

..and the lessons just keep on coming.

I'm feeling a bit of panic for the first time since my job loss.. but I suspected this would happen. So, the good news is... it's not a surprise.

It seems as though they are reviewing my case to see if I qualify for unemployment benefits.  Ouch.  I had no idea this would be an issue.. but there it is.  I just figured I'd be getting checks by now.

Meanwhile.. I'm applying for jobs.. hunting down leads..  seeking out wise advisers...and juggling what's going on inside my brain.  It feels like a shortness of breath -- only in my head -- not my chest.  It's not a physical manifestation as much as a mental and emotional one.  When the numbers don't add up.. well.. you know.

In addition, I think a lot about having faith that things will work out. Not without my hard work.. but, rather.. with a lot of it. I am up to the task.. even though I often feel like whining about it.

Every now and then fear grips my soul. The worse case scenarios play out in my head.. and I'm left tangled and useless.  Then, calm reason, faith and rolling up my sleeves gradually seep back in.  I'm grateful for this.

The long and short of it is that I've never been left hanging on the precipice without an eventual helping hand..  without guidance.

The Divine is in the details.. and I'll just keep working at my future like it all depends on me... because in truth, it does.

3 Comments From Other Members
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4/21/2010 Jamie Dedes from Menlo Park CA wrote:
Really hard not to play "what if" in this type of situation. Hang in there, Sue Ann.
4/21/2010 Dorothy Sander from Durham NC wrote:
You are strong and your faith makes you stronger. All any of us can be certain of is today. Each step we take is a step in faith. As we walk the path we were given we will discover the means that will take us where we're going. You are not alone Sue Ann. In addition to your faith you have us. We have your back.
4/21/2010 Jackie Reed from new york city ny wrote:
Finding work is defintely a full time job. Waiting for that unemployment check certainly doesn't make it any easier. Please keep up updated.

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