Ready to Begin Again
3/14/2010 - Dorothy Sander
I can't remember ever hitting a wall quit as hard as I did a month ago. Like others of you have mentioned in recent weeks, age seems to be shouting at me "look you've got to do things differently!" I think this time I've gotten the message and so like Suzanne mentioned in one of her blogs it's time to get smart and prioritize.
The most frightening thing about the whole experience was my inability to think, feel or write. That is who I am and the thought of losing that ability threatened my very soul. But, my insistent husband, with the help of my irksome doctor, made me stop -- mostly stop fighting. For once I had to recognize that the whys and hows didn't matter. I didn't have to "understand" what happened. I just had to let go and give up "doing" and just be for awhile. And so I did, kicking and fighting until I gave up.
I didn't like the process. Taking a "time out" should be fun on some level. This was not. I had become so attached to the doing that being seemed foreign and very uncomfortable. I wanted one good night's sleep to be enough. But it was not. It took all those weeks and days, that now seem like they didn't exist, to get back to myself and now is the time to begin again and to put into practice the things I learned through the experience.
7 Comments From Other Members Join Now or Login To Comment On This Blog |
| 3/14/2010 |
Suzanne Caplan from PA wrote:
We are all on the cusp of these issues and how we grow older is the lessons we are learning as I write. My mother was a peach and my Aunt Betty is a Strawberry....both of them to be admired although one shines a bit brighter. You have been missed and we all support what you are going through.
|
| 3/14/2010 |
Celia Leaman from Vancouver BC wrote:
I'm thinking of you, Dorothy.
|
| 3/14/2010 |
Janet Glaser from Fremont MI wrote:
I think you are very brave and strong for going through this and can now face it and move on. You go, Girl!
|
| 3/15/2010 |
Sue Ann Crockett from Ferndale WA wrote:
Dorothy.. things are always a little spicier on the site when you're around. It's good to have you back.. and I hope you can feel the support and tenderness coming your way from this part of the world :)
|
| 3/15/2010 |
Dorothy Sander from Durham NC wrote:
Spicier???? Hmmm...
|
| 3/15/2010 |
Sue Ann Crockett from Ferndale WA wrote:
HA! I like that you caught that :) Sometimes you come up with ideas and posts that are out of the ordinary.. and I, for one, really appreciate that. Sure.. let's call them "spicy".. why not? :)
|
| 3/24/2010 |
Jamie Dedes from Menlo Park CA wrote:
The being time is a worthy end in itself, isn't it? Having said that, the being time can also be a gestational time. We never know what magic will result from it.
I gather you haven't been blogging for awhile, Dorothy. So, welcome back . . . and know that it is always okay to just Be. I would think of that as transending self, the ultimate goal of all religions.
And "spicy" . . . now I have to review all your prior blog posts! :-) Happy Day.
|
You must be a logged in to comment on this blog.
|
Recent Blogs from Dorothy
Changing Attitudes ~ Narrowing the Focus
8/31/2010
Cautiously Optimistic
8/24/2010
The 5th Day of a Four Day Win
8/23/2010
Should Women Over Fifty Dress a Certain Way?
8/18/2010
You're Never too Old to Follow Your Dream, But You May Have Lost Your Nerve
8/13/2010
Your Words Lift Me Up
8/10/2010
Enter the WE! Essay Contest
8/2/2010
Everyone Needs a Kick in the Butt
7/29/2010
A Great Addition to List Making
7/28/2010
Pleasing Everyone at the Dinner Table
7/21/2010
Learning to Feed Ourselves
7/20/2010
Maggie's Boot Camp
7/5/2010
Daring to Risk
6/30/2010
A Magnificent Community of Women
6/29/2010
Ladies, Look How Far We've Come!
6/20/2010
|