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CONFIDENCE
11/28/2008 - Mary Allan Mill

As I picked up the gift I was taking to my next door neighbors' Thanksgiving dinner, the chime on my back door rang.  I opened the door, and one of my hosts and a very attractive dark haired man stood there.

"Oh," said Dewey, "the godess herself!"  I glanced behind me...a godess I'm not, well, maybe a long time ago.

A moment like that can, or should give you all the confidence you need.  My charming escorts walked me from my garden to Dewey's.  I gained at least ten pounds when I walked into the house just sniffing the goodies being prepared in the kitchen, and I met an assortment of various parents, friends and Dewey's grandmother who is 84 and a delight.  I had an "adopted" family for the day.

In an article I read recently it stated that confidence means "you believe in yourself, you trust your own resourcefulness and judgment."  According to Dr. Nathaniel Branden, it's "the sum of self-confidence and self-respect."

Social situations are easier for me than, for instance, job interviews where the stakes are higher, judgments harsher and the possibility of rejection a looming black hole.

Being part of a group of laughing, smiling and friendly people is like really good therapy.  I know that's a weird analogy, but many years ago after a good session with my therapist, I felt relaxed, free of demons and confident.

For job interviews I make sure my resume is perfect, that I'm prepared, confident (but not overly so) and comfortable in my own skin.  Socially, most people don't have a preconceived concept of who or what you are other than, "That nice lady next door..."  Isn't life great?


4 Comments From Other Members
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11/29/2008 Michele Moore from New Port Richey FL wrote:
Mary Allan...it sounds like you were surrounded by lovely people and delicious food on Thanksgiving. How delightful!
11/29/2008 Suzanne Caplan from PA wrote:
You need to convert the social energy you feel and you give into a profit making event. You would make a great hostess or a cruise social director. How about an activities director an assited living center. You could make any feel better.
11/29/2008 CJ Golden from Newtown CT wrote:
I'm right there with you, Suzanne. Mary Allan - that is most certainly the direction to take as you continue your search for the perfect job.
11/30/2008 Mary Allan Mill from St. Petersburg FL wrote:
I have accompanied many groups around the world, and at this point in my life that's past. Assisted living centers, in general, make me very sad - I love being around people younger than I am (I learn a lot more and keep up with the trends). I've found the perfect job, but they have me coming in late December or just after the first of the year. Life is good.

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